“Today we’re talking with three of universe’s deadliest warriors. Zarek, Overlord of the Coletti Clans, his son, Talree also a Warlord and Ian McGregor, a Highland warrior turned way back in 1186. Gentlemen and I’m using this term loosely, please remember we have a no biting, fighting or mind control clause in our contract.”
Three sets of dangerously predatory eyes locked on me. “Okey-dokey, moving right along, Zarek how did you meet your mate, Detja?
Zarek’s smile was the scariest thing I’d ever seen. “She stole a Ditrim crystal from me and gave me the one finger salute as she made her getaway. That’s when I knew she was the one for me.”
“It took you, the ultimate predator, over six months to track Detja down.”
“She’s a very resourceful thief.” There was pride in Zarek’s voice.
“Detja was furious when you bought her from her father for the unbelievable price of one credit. Is it true this itty-bitty female managed to drug you, the most feared Warlord in the galaxy, lock you in a shipping container and put you on a ship bound for a penal colony?
The Overlord bared his fangs menacingly. “Her actions were unexpected but added spice to the chase.”
“Right, I imagine your ego was a bit dented?”
“Not at all, I was intrigued. I had lost two mates to the Alliance hunters and Detja’s ability to take care of herself made her the perfect mate.”
“Your home planet, Tanis, was almost destroyed six hundred years ago. My sources say that the chemicals used in the Great War created a genetic anomaly and only one female baby is born for every one thousand males. Faced with extinction you now raid other species for their women. Is that true?”
“For hundreds of years the Alliance High Command has put all their resources into exterminating our entire race. I take as many psychic females as necessary to ensure our survival.”
“And if they are unwilling?”
“Once the mate bond kicks in they belong to us mind, body and soul.”
“There’s no escape for these captive brides?”
“None.” Zarek eyed me like I was fresh meat and he was very hungry. “You have psychic abilities.”
“No! I don’t. You’re mistaken.”
“I never make mistakes.”
Crap. Kaylee was right. Zarek did make Darth Vader look like Little Orphan Annie. Swallowing hard, I quickly turned to Talree. “Warlord, how did you meet Kaylee?”
“Kaylee’s a Siren. She’s used her psychic abilities as an early warning system to keep Earth safe from the Tai-Kok and Rodan. She was mentally scanning her section of space for the Tai-Kok when I sensed her and I knew instantly she was my mate.”
“Wow! Just like that? Then why did Kaylee say and this is a direct quote, ‘I had an alien asshole stuck in my head who had a regrettable tendency to growl like a pit-bull.’”
“She was reluctant at first to accept me as her mate but I quickly changed her mind.”
“Because you generously offered to save Earth from annihilation?”
“Yes. The fate of both our worlds are intertwined. We must work together to stop my brother Malik and the Tai-Kok from destroying the galaxy.”
“Then why is Earth still on your to do list to conquer?”
Both Warlords said in unison, “We do what we must to ensure the survival of our people.”
A warning growl sounded from McGregor. “Conquer my world? Think again.”
With the eyes of death itself, Zarek and Talree rose from their chairs. “You think you can defeat us, vampire?”
“Whoa! Hold on a minute. No fighting. Remember?”
Talree flashed his fangs at me. “You think you can stop us, female?”
Oh hell no. “Please sit down. You do remember the penalty clause in the contract, right?”
All three warriors reluctantly sat down.
“Mr. McGregor you met your mate, Bunny, when she blew up your 1968 cherry red, mint conditioned Mustang.”
“Aye, she is a little she demon.”
“Bunny also skunked your 1964 Ford Cobra Shelby. That had to make you a bit angry.”
“Very angry. Challenging a Highland warrior is never a good idea.”
“You told her that you were going to hunt her down and fuck her till she screamed.”
“Aye and I did.”
I squirmed in my seat. Ian McGregor was one sexy dude. “What’s the greatest change you’ve seen in your eight hundred years?”
“Cars. Automobiles are mankind’s greatest invention.”
“Bunny told me you have over a thousand of them.”
“Aye, I’m a bit of a collector.”
“I’d thought a Highland warrior would feel more comfortable with a mighty steed between his legs.”
“I prefer a woman between my legs.”
Yikes. He’d give Don Juan a run for his money. “Gail Koger wrote all three of your stories. How did you meet her?”
“I saw the terrific job she did on writing the alien assholes stories and put the whammy on her. She’s now working on my mate’s book Bunny The Equalizer.
“What’s Gail like?”
“She’s a bit nuts but if you ignore the twitch in her left eye and keep her supplied with chocolate she’s good.”
“How can our readers find you and buy your books?”
A low growl sounded from Talree. “His book is not completed yet but if you want to learn about the Coletti Warlords you can find our stories, Just My Luck and The Warlord’s Comeuppance at www.whispershome.com or www.gailkoger.com.
“Any thing else you gentlemen want to add?”
“Buy our books or we will destroy Earth.”
“I’m outta here.”
Just My Luck blurb:
Kaylee Jones is a trouble magnet and chaos and disaster are her faithful companions. A powerful psychic, it’s her job to protect Earth from alien predators who consider our world an all-you-can-eat banquet. Unfortunately, her success at killing these alien freaks puts her on their most wanted list and lands her in a prison cell. Her roommate? A very hungry vampire. Okay, he’s really a Coletti Warlord who decides to make her his mate. Doesn’t matter that she’s not willing and this mate thing means he owns her mind, body and soul. She’ll admit the sex is hot and the bossy jerk has agreed to save our world from annihilation. But, the bad news is, Warlords aren’t benevolent do-gooder types and there is a price for his help. Our women. And the really bad news is, her Warlord’s low-down conniving brother has joined forces with our alien freaks and now we have to stop them from destroying both our worlds!!
The Warlord's Comeuppance:
Stealing from a warlord and giving him the one finger salute as I made my getaway was not the brightest thing I’d ever done. Okay, it was an incredibly stupid stunt.
Did I mention that this particular Coletti warlord is the most feared in the entire galaxy? That Zarek’s the ultimate predator and even the other warlords are scared spitless of him? That he never ever stops until he either captures or kills his prey?
Yeah, I have the big, bad after me and all because of one little finger. Okay and a Ditrim crystal the size of my fist. Am I worried? Of course, only an idiot doesn’t fear a very angry Coletti warlord. But, I am very good at what I do. Bad news is, so is Zarek.